DANIELLA BIANCHI
NOVEMBER 29th, 2021
Many people have said that I seem to be able to easily start a conversation with a random person. They often ask where my fear or instinct is to back away. They are surprised when I say it does exist but in a limited and not to the point of stopping me way.
Now picture yourself at a party or a bar where you hardly know anyone, surely not a scenario you are too unfamiliar with. You are just floating around, scanning the room quickly in search of one of your friends. It feels silly to be alone among the masses of people, right? Well there is a quick fix for that … talk to someone you don’t know in the room. But how can someone really feel okay talking to people for the first time? Here’s
It’s all about how you view your situation. Understand that on a night out or at a party people want to be there and talk to others. Think about it, that’s pretty much the whole reason of going out, to socialise. Otherwise, if you really are just there for the alcohol or the dancing, you can enjoy this in your own place instead. Recognising and understanding that other people are there to meet and chat with you will help you build up the confidence to approach them or engage in conversation with them.
Another thing: generally people are friendly, particularly in these settings. Everyone’s in the same boat, we want to be kind to one another because we want to be treated with kindness. We don’t want to make other people upset… unless you’re psycho. Society has taught us to be polite to one another. Capitalise on this, understand this, and use this.
Think about the worst thing that could happen from you taking a chance and trying to speak to someone. Are you just going to be rejected? Stop letting fear control your life. Who knows, maybe that person that you approach is going to become someone super important to you but if you’re too afraid to talk to them, you just missed out. As corny as it, you miss every shot you don’t take and well quite frankly, it’s very true. This afraid mindset is stopping you from living your life to the fullest, from meeting those who you should be meeting , from engaging in conversations that you can learn and grow from. Even if the exchange is not a polite or pleasant one, good riddance. At least you gave it a chance and you found out for yourself rather than always wondering. The what if complex is not something we want to feed into.
Remember that saying about how the spider is always way more frightened of the human? Come to terms with the fact that most people are just as afraid of you, sometimes even more afraid. If you be the one to first instigate the conversation, you’ve taken a load off somebody else. Anyway, you have power in the sense that you can choose to leave that conversation anytime.
The key takeaway is just to take a chance on yourself. Allow yourself to partake in the opportunity and stop being a bystander. Stop being someone who observes what’s happening but be the one who controls what happens. Taking charge of your life, taking charge of who you meet, giving life to your interactions is important and I spoke about meaningful friendships in my blog post on Choosing Your Relationships. There is so much to learn from others and if not learn, so much to enjoy with others that the fear in taking this first step is outweighed by the numerous benefits that happen as a result. I challenge you to be the instigator. At least give yourself the chance to say you tried.
Now picture yourself at a party or a bar where you hardly know anyone, surely not a scenario you are too unfamiliar with. You are just floating around, scanning the room quickly in search of one of your friends. It feels silly to be alone among the masses of people, right? Well there is a quick fix for that … talk to someone you don’t know in the room. But how can someone really feel okay talking to people for the first time? Here’s
the go
on how to get that conversation rolling.It’s all about how you view your situation. Understand that on a night out or at a party people want to be there and talk to others. Think about it, that’s pretty much the whole reason of going out, to socialise. Otherwise, if you really are just there for the alcohol or the dancing, you can enjoy this in your own place instead. Recognising and understanding that other people are there to meet and chat with you will help you build up the confidence to approach them or engage in conversation with them.
Another thing: generally people are friendly, particularly in these settings. Everyone’s in the same boat, we want to be kind to one another because we want to be treated with kindness. We don’t want to make other people upset… unless you’re psycho. Society has taught us to be polite to one another. Capitalise on this, understand this, and use this.
Think about the worst thing that could happen from you taking a chance and trying to speak to someone. Are you just going to be rejected? Stop letting fear control your life. Who knows, maybe that person that you approach is going to become someone super important to you but if you’re too afraid to talk to them, you just missed out. As corny as it, you miss every shot you don’t take and well quite frankly, it’s very true. This afraid mindset is stopping you from living your life to the fullest, from meeting those who you should be meeting , from engaging in conversations that you can learn and grow from. Even if the exchange is not a polite or pleasant one, good riddance. At least you gave it a chance and you found out for yourself rather than always wondering. The what if complex is not something we want to feed into.
Remember that saying about how the spider is always way more frightened of the human? Come to terms with the fact that most people are just as afraid of you, sometimes even more afraid. If you be the one to first instigate the conversation, you’ve taken a load off somebody else. Anyway, you have power in the sense that you can choose to leave that conversation anytime.
The key takeaway is just to take a chance on yourself. Allow yourself to partake in the opportunity and stop being a bystander. Stop being someone who observes what’s happening but be the one who controls what happens. Taking charge of your life, taking charge of who you meet, giving life to your interactions is important and I spoke about meaningful friendships in my blog post on Choosing Your Relationships. There is so much to learn from others and if not learn, so much to enjoy with others that the fear in taking this first step is outweighed by the numerous benefits that happen as a result. I challenge you to be the instigator. At least give yourself the chance to say you tried.