If you are questioning why you are doing something – whether it be a job, a degree or even a relationship – don’t feel bad. In fact, be grateful that you are instinctively checking in on yourself and confirming that where you are heading is right for you. Sure, having doubts now and then about activities in your life is completely normal and these go away. Yet, when those doubts don’t want to leave, you should not brush them aside and why.

In my early teenage life, I worked weekends in a dead quiet coffee shop with only my boss, who was 40 years my senior. During my 6 hours shifts, with no breaks (isn’t that illegal?), you could find him sitting on his phone playing subway surfers. I wasn’t even allowed to make any coffees. Having cleaned all surfaces at least 3 times, the bin-run seemed so exciting. I was earning money for a reputable business… Doesn’t that make it worth it? Finally, after 2 years, I applied at another coffee shop which was much busier and became a supervisor in 4 months.

I was too afraid to leave because the change scared me, and my hesitation kept me trapped. At my new job I learnt how to make great coffees (or my regulars flattered me too much) and made awesome friends at work. Who knew that there was more to part-time work than wiping and re-wiping coffee counters! The owner of the first coffee shop closed 2 weeks after I left and returned to China – I must really have been an asset… (joking).

When people try to accept a bad situation by using the phrase “it is what it is”, I am not impressed. The phrase is just an excuse. It encourages non-action and squashes positive change. It makes you think that your response will have no impact, that it would be useless. I am telling you that it doesn’t have to be this way – your choices allow it to be this way. Too many of us think we are stuck. But really we are just stuck by our own decisions. If you are unhappy, lacking inspiration or desperately wanting to stop doing something - recognize the red flags and make a change! Investing time and energy into a passionless activity will only take away from the other highs you could be spending time on. I challenge you to check your reasons and motivations behind your activity. Answer these questions with your “it” in mind (for the fun of it, I have substituted stone as a placeholder to represent your “it”):

1. Do you look forward to stone?
2. Are you proud of stone?
3. What do you like about stone?
4. What do you dislike about stone?

If your answer to question 3 was rather short when compared with your answer to question 4, I think you know what you need to do.

It is time to stop being a silly sausage and turn that stone into a stepping-stone. Really “it is what it is” doesn’t cut it.