Why are we so afraid of change? Why does the idea of doing something different make people so uncomfortable? Maybe it’s our biology. Maybe it’s not up to us to fight against our instinctive human nature. I’m sure you could make these arguments, but where is the fun in that? Where is the room to see the world differently, to experience other things? Here’s on how good change really is.

What if you were destined to become a famous violinist but because you never gave yourself the chance to pick up a violin, never allowed yourself to step outside of your stagnant bubble, you will never know if you are the next Paganini? Okay, I’m not saying everyone’s destined to be a violinist – I for one, am not heading in that direction - but I want you to know that you could be doing more. By sticking to your same routine that you do all the time, you’re limiting yourself and your opportunities.

Humans generally are constantly evolving. Who you were a year ago is just a past version of who you are today. Realise (thankfully) that you at 17, and largely, your friends at 17, are different to the people who you are today. This means that how you interact with each other and your thinking changes too, based on the experiences you have. When someone says to you “wow, you’ve changed”, that’s a major compliment - you’ve actually grown and developed as a person rather than being the same small-minded youngster, even if it is just a youngster in your thinking, (face it, as children and even adults, we can really be quite clueless about life). Don’t you see how holding onto these preconceived ideas of each other is just holding us back and keeping us in stagnant positions? It can be hard to accept that what you knew as a friendship is no longer the same friendship. But in the end, it helps you to realise that your priorities are changing and evolving and that is something to be grateful for.

I know it can be hard to deal with change. Particularly in relationships. It can be tough when you’re not seeing a friend as much or they seem to be messaging you less. This doesn’t mean they don’t like you anymore - it just means that their life is changing and heading in a different direction to yours. Maybe they are busy because they have a new job, or just want to hang out with different people and that’s okay. Don’t take it personally. Instead, use your extra time to focus on yourself and try new things too.

One such thing could be going out with new people. Could be a good chance to get the obligatory small talk part of the new friendship out of the way. Hopefully you escape the small talk arena earlier rather than later. So, once you have cruised through the small talk and taken the time to actually get to know these new people, you will (probably) find that they are very interesting. Everyone does things a little differently to what you’re used to and I, for one, am someone who loves a bit of excitement and difference. Check out my choosing your relationship blog where I talk about the importance of different relationships.

Still not convinced that change is all that? Maybe quickfire shots could change your mind:

1. What about changing laws?
   Historically, there’s always been much repression and aversion to making radical changes to our legal system. Heck, the government only just legalised same sex marriage at the end of 2017! Now to me that just seems a bit backwards that after all this time, only now are we recognising what changes we need to make.
2. Gym routine updates
   Now this could be key to staying motivated and fit. I talk a lot about this in my blog on exercise your way. Often people tell me that they lose enthusiasm when going to the gym because they’re doing the same thing over and over which gets boring. Not only does that mean that your muscles and your growth will plateau, but your passion and your interest in the gym is going to disappear as well. This is why researching and building up a new routine regularly, maybe every three months, will keep you on track to keep you entertained and fit.
3. Moving from home
   Now this is a dramatic change for all of us. Typically, our family houses have been a haven, what we’ve known for most of our lives, with family dinners, people constantly opening your bedroom door and the constant beeping washing machine. When you decide to leave, it is such a difference (and not just to your bank balance – apparently utility bills cost far more than expected). Experience a different sort of freedom even if you had super chill parents like me. It is the freedom to be in charge of your own life without any external influences. A bonus is the elimination of the worry about closing the door gently after a night out, in case you wake someone up.
4. Taking on a new role
   This might be at work or at university, or even in your own personal life. The new role might majorly affect not just your status but your relationships with other people. Most of the time, I would say just do it. There’s going to be so much to learn. Regardless of your age, it is so important to make that time to step into new and foreign roles and try them out to see if they fit.

What may seem like a negative change might just be the best thing that’s happened to you. After losing my barista job of 6 years because of COVID, I had never felt more relaxed. I’m a big believer in everything happens for a reason, as cheesy as it sounds, and so change for me is something that I’ve learnt to accept and look forward to. When thinking about dinner, don’t you get sick and tired of eating the same thing over and over? Why don’t you try to adopt a similar mindset to change on a wider scale in life because surely, it’s fun to eat new things and try out new recipes . Who knows, maybe a new recipe will become your favourite.

Change doesn’t have to be out of your control. Change doesn’t have to be scary. Make change become what you want it to be and find a way to work it into your life - you never know what you may find.