Ghosting is quite common. For those of us who don’t know what it is, ghosting is when you “disappear” on your partner, date, or acquaintance. Basically, when you read someone’s messages without replying. A ghoster is someone who becomes silent while another person’s trying to engage in conversation with them. I think that this is so annoying and a silly way to be interacting with someone. Here’s on why ghosting is just immature.

I do admit, I used to be a major ghoster. I would leave people confused about why I wasn’t responding to their messages and instead became a “non-responder”. Now this was just rude and is not a good way to deal with someone. Imagine you’re trying to talk to someone in person and they just stare blankly back at you, never responding to whatever you say. You would feel puzzled or frustrated or a mixture of both – let’s all agree that they are not very pleasant feelings. So why when we are using technology, are we pretty much doing this exact thing? Dropping in and out of someone’s life is so easy now for the ghoster, but that doesn’t mean it goes down well for the ghostee. Ghosting is unhealthy and disrespectful. To me, this seems inappropriate and cruel, particularly because it can seem to happen from out of nowhere.

There are many kinds of reasons why people disappear. Primarily, many people ghost because they are not interested in someone - it becomes a way to end a connection without confronting how you really feel. Maybe the ghoster is angry or upset with someone, uncomfortable talking to the person, or even just forgetful. Basically, people ghost because they are dealing with emotions in a childish way. We are never going to solve anything if we just stay quiet. Everybody knows that if you want something to change you must act and make noise, so just respond and explain the situation, otherwise you are falling into a state of inaction and causing unnecessary upset. You would be surprised how heavily your actions affect other people and ghosting can leave people hurt, confused and even paranoid.

If someone has upset you in some way and you are refusing to answer their messages, you are not going to feel better at all. How is someone meant to understand whether they did the right thing or how they can improve your relationship if you never explain to them how you’re feeling or even let them know they did something wrong. It’s just plain rude to not answer someone, particularly after reading their message.

Alas, the best way to deal with unwanted messages is to reply directly and respectfully. Stop someone from messaging you incessantly and unwantedly by just asking them not to. Being up-front isn’t easy and you may be tempted to ghost because you don’t want to say something that will offend the other person’s feelings. But remember that ghosting can normally be more hurtful, and there is no nice way to ghost. Instead, communicate honestly, clearly, and kindly. It’s as easy as that. This way the person is not fooled by any idea of friendship or whatever they were looking for with you and it gives them the sense of closure.

On the flip side, if you are the ghostee, it is completely understandable that you would feel robbed. Yet do not ever send a lengthy text asking for an explanation. The ghoster probably doesn’t even know how to articulate what they are feeling, and you would be doing yourself a disservice. Besides, you will likely not receive a straight-forward answer and you will probably just come across as insecure. The best way to deal with a ghoster is to choose your relationships and move forward - there are many other people out there that would suit you better.

Well, what do you all think? Are you game enough to stop being a ghoster?