I am a big believer in being truthful in my conversations. I respect those who I talk to and would appreciate it if they did the same for me. Here’s on why honest conversations are so crucial.

Saying one thing to a person when you are thinking something completely different is not a good sign of friendship to me. (Of course, this excludes harmless white lies, which is a different discussion altogether). How is one meant to have confidence and security in a relationship if you never express how you really feel? If you sit down (or stand however you would prefer) and think about it, this really is a two-faced way of living. If you’re not being honest in your relationships, how can you be honest with yourself?

1. What are the most important situations where honesty is necessary?
   It’s always important to let someone know when something or someone’s actions are upsetting you or causing you discomfort. If you bring this up earlier rather than later, your chances of maintaining peace increase tenfold. Otherwise, these “little things” that are being suppressed in a friendship/relationship could build up and cause you to explode as discussed in smash the bottle blog. This is not the best idea if you want to keep the relationship. Essentially, stop saying through gritted teeth “oh, it’s fine” and start saying “No, please do not do that again” if you care enough. You’re going to end up in a much better situation with open communication being established or with a fake friendship ending.


2. What if being honest is too hard?
   Do you really think that life is easy? Often, taking a challenging path will lead to much greater rewards. You need to weigh up what you value more; do you place a high regard on the quality of the relationship you have, or is it more important that you suffer in silence out of fear not to offend? For me, I would like to avoid unnecessary angst and will not be quiet. If I feel like I should be quiet, this does not indicate a good relationship at all, but rather, it points to immaturity. To deal with the uncertainty in what you want to say, take some time. Really think and decide to articulate your moods in a thoughtful and considerate manner so you can mend the relationship that you have instead of destroying it.


3. If someone has a problem with you, wouldn’t you want to know?
   If nobody ever tells you that you are troubling them, that something you do upsets them, you’re going to just continue to create a rocky road. This will create a bigger disconnect between you and this person and it will be important to speak out if you want to positively choose your relationships. Isn’t it worthwhile to voice what is happening in the moment rather than suppress and explode later on? We need to stop this modern tendency to hold in what annoys us until we explode because we begin to resent the other’s actions, which is not a pretty sight (probably why we keep it inside for so long).

When others aren’t honest with others, you effectively stunt other people’s growth, and that is why surrounding yourself with honest people is so helpful as talked about in choosing your relationships. Every word and action can affect other people and we need to be mindful of what we say and what we do. With great minds, including JK Rowling, who was rejected numerous times for her Harry Potter series, every single idea, being told the truth made her produce better writing. Look at her success now. It is because people were honest with her and told her that her initial ideas weren’t ready that pushed her to work hard until she wrote a better story and sold it to a publisher. When we are honest with people about how they present, what ideas they put forward, and what thoughts they share, we can help one another learn and grow which is something that I talked about in my blog on have an opinion, even if it is wrong.

More often than not, the truth comes out. It hurts way more when someone has been saying one thing but really thought another. We should take the time to be considerate of other people and show them the respect they deserve by being honest about how we think. Fake comments do not help me improve but just drive me insane. Bring meaningful words or actions so you can make a connection as there is much value to honesty in conversations. Those friends that say it to me as it truly is, are people who I am grateful to have in my life.

By saying more (honestly), we can learn to a greater extent where we have gone wrong in our thinking patterns and bridge a path towards what we can do to improve. By changing our words to fit what we think someone else wants to hear, we are stunting our and the receiver’s mindsets. We limit opportunities for correction and start to fall into the trap of the "it is what it is" mentality. We should be encouraging people to voice what they think, instead of attempting to sugar-coat and feed into a fake ideal of life. You can never know where you are going wrong until an action or comment makes you think twice.

It is important to stress that in being honest, we need to find a key balance between harshness and overdoing it. A big help in this regard is being clear and concise. Do not ever over-explain or try to rationalise to someone about why you feel a certain way. Being to the point is appreciated and allows someone to understand what could be done better.

Why don’t we give some more attention to the iconic saying honesty is the best policy? There is a lot of truth behind its use, and I think that we need to be reminded of this.