By now, you should be aware of how sick and tired I am of widespread apathy. I have written about how, instead of being a voiceless figure, you should have an opinion, why it is a good idea to embrace change rather than stay stilland importantly, highlighted the nonsense behind “it is what it is”. In this blog, I am once again, reaffirming why a non-response is not acceptable, which I explored in can ghosting be done properly with a bigger focus on when you are invited to events. Here’s on why you should respond when invited.

When a host invites people to their event, most commonly, this isn’t done willy-nilly. Actual thought is given to who the host would like to come, and it can be a process. There are many things to consider like who means a lot to the host, whether groups will get along and who can bring the right energy. Basically, this means that when the host invites people, they do not blindly click your name. They see your name; they think that you would be a good fit for their gathering, and they would like you to be there. So, when you never let them know about your “going status” or fall into the “non-response”, that affects them and their plans for the event. Ok, so I laboured on the point a little, but I just don’t comprehend why so many people don’t bother responding.

I was at a 21st the other night, with 60 people having been invited to the event. Now, I knew there was another 21st on that night and that half the invitees had been invited to both. Of that half, only about 10 of them had responded to the first event, meaning the others were just non-responders. The host of the first event had bought so much food and alcohol, preparing for the 60 to show, although only 20 came.

It would feel horrible to not only waste food and money, but to feel confused about why people didn’t show up. Even more hurtful, would be the fact that this was a celebration of his birthday, and it matters who comes to join in with you. I felt completely ashamed of my friends that hadn’t given this first guy the heads up that they weren’t coming. When I left to go to the other 21st, I knew that he was appreciative that I had come, and that I had responded and given him that respect that he deserved. You can’t think that because there are so many others going, they won’t notice your absence. Of course, they will. You remember who you invite and who pulls through.

Remaining on the invited list instead of saying going/not going is like ghosting and it’s just plain insensitive. Imagine yourself in a similar situation. Planning an event takes time and money. It is difficult and nerve-wracking for pretty much everyone. We all want to throw a good event, with enough food and an atmosphere that fits our audience. It’s hard to plan these sorts of things, when you don’t know who’s coming, because people haven’t responded to you. Why put someone else out, just because you’re feeling too immature to let someone know whether you will attend.

I feel it is completely rude when people do not say anything when they have been invited. They could just as easily not have been invited. Again, let me bring up the analogy of talking to a wall. When you ask a wall for advice and it says nothing, aren’t you annoyed (possibly also crazy for if a wall could talk, mind you)? For reference anyway, if you don’t say anything to the host AND you don’t come, you probably will never be invited again. I know, I wouldn’t want to invite someone who doesn’t even show some decency to shoot me a quick message to confirm whether they are attending. I’m not going to waste my time on these rude people.

If you can’t come – that is fine. But you need to let them know. I feel horrible for not letting my friend know 100% that I couldn’t go to hers and it negatively impacted our friendship. If I had been straight-up and honest, I could have avoided the feeling of guilt and betrayal. Well, now I have learnt my lesson, and I am ever more aware of how a non-response makes others feel.

There we go, I hope my blog-rant reminds people to show a little more courtesy to others, particularly when it comes to birthday events.